6 Sex Mistakes Men Make

Sex Mistake No.1: You Know What She Wants

Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they've done with other women. But women aren't all the same.

"You develop a repertoire as you mature sexually, but you should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person," Taormino says.

That applies not only to sexual predilections, but also to relationships, she says. "There are women who can have no-strings-attached sex, and women who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between."

Sex Mistake No. 2: You Have All She Needs

Some women can't have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. But men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator.

"If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she's not broken," Taormino says.

Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together. "While you're doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else," Taormino says.

Sex Mistake No. 3: Sex Feels the Same for Men and Women

Paget says there tends to be a "huge disconnect" between men and women in the ways that sex feels good.

"When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her," Paget says. "It couldn't be further from the truth."

The inside of the vagina is probably less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. If the penis is too long, "it feels like you're getting punched in the stomach," Paget says. "It makes you feel nauseous."

Sex Mistake No. 4: You Know Your Way Around a Woman's Anatomy

Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it. That's not to say that they really understand it.

Men also lack information about how to touch it and how sensitive it is, Taormino says.

A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special, or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation.

How can you find out how she likes to be touched? Try asking her.

Sex Mistake No. 5: Wet = Turned On

Guys sometimes get hung up if a woman doesn't get slippery enough for easy penetration. Don't worry about it.

"I think there's a myth that if you're turned on, you're wet," Taormino says. Not necessarily.

Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. It varies by the phase of her menstrual cycle, and it's subject to influences like stress and medications.

Sex Mistake No. 6: Silence Is Golden

A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex, but unless you speak up, your partner has to guess what's doing it for you and what isn't.

If you're respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some directions.

"I'm not saying push her head in your lap," Taormino says. "I think that, 'this is how I like it,' is a very useful conversation to have."

Non penetrative Sex

Non-penetrative sex or frottage—the general term for rubbing one's genitals on one's partner. This may include the partner's genitals or buttocks.

* Mutual Masturbation The stimulation of the penis in males and with the stimulation of the clitoris in females. Partners simultaneously stimulating both the male's penis and female's clitoris by mutual or simultaneous masturbation, rhythmic inter-genital contact friction or actual penetrative intercourse can lead to orgasm in one or both partners, sometimes simultaneously, known as simultaneous orgasm. Same gender partners can also stimulate each other's orgasm.

* Orgasm control by self or by a partner managing the physical stimulation and sensation connected with the emotional and physiologic excitement levels. Through the practice of masturbation an individual can learn to develop control of their own body's orgasmic response and timing. In partnered stimulation either partner can control their own orgasmic response and timing. With mutual agreement either partner can similarly learn to control or enhance their partners orgasmic response and timing. Partner stimulation orgasm techniques referred to as Expanded Orgasm, Extended orgasm or Orgasm control can be learned and practiced for either partner to refine their control of the orgasmic response of the other. Partners mutually choose which is in control or in response to the other.

* Orgasmic Meditation, is a mindfulness practice where the object of meditation is conscious finger to genital contact. "OMing" is practiced in pairs, with one partner, gently holding the genitals with both hands, and that partner's index finger gently, precisely, slowly stroking the female’s clitoris specifically and with both parties placing their complete awareness mindfully on that localized point of contact between them. Both practitioners focus their fullest attention on their sensitive nerve endings and on their finest muscle control in stroking movement to develop connective (limbic) resonance between practitioners. The outcome, is not simply orgasm but interpersonal connection.

Other forms of frottage—as part of foreplay or to avoid penetrative sex, people engage in a variety of other non-penetrative sexual behaviour, which may or may not lead to orgasm.

* Dry humping: frottage while clothed. This act is common, although not essential, in the dance style known as "grinding".

* Handjob: Manual stimulation of a partner's penis or clitoris

* Footjob: using the feet to stimulate the penis.

* Mammary intercourse: using the breasts together to stimulate the penis through the cleavage. (Should not be confused with a "boob job" meaning to have augmentive surgery done on the breasts.) Also called a titjob, titty-fucking, a tit-wank, or a muscle fuck. Several other slang terms exist.

* Intercrural intercourse or interfemoral sex: with the penis between the partner's thighs, perhaps rubbing the vulva, scrotum or perineum.

* Axillary intercourse: with the penis in the armpit.

The slang term humping may refer to masturbation—thrusting one's genitals against the surface of non-sexual objects, clothed or unclothed; or it may refer to penetrative sex.