Monday, July 27, 2009

Achieving the PERFECT BLOWJOB

Blowjobs...

Sucking is an area where most seem to be lacking skills - giving a blowjob has NOTHING to do with blowing. Rather the exact opposite.

  • You should suck on it, and suck on it hard.
    Just as you would suck a lollipop, or a cigarette for those who smoke.
  • The goal of a good blowjob is to find the most sensitive areas on your partner's cock and then to stimulate them with your mouth, tongue, and lips as much as you can.
  • Forming a tight seal around your partner's cock is the key. However...there is one problem that's the most common in bad blowjobs. TEETH! Having teeth scrape the cock you're sucking is not only unpleasant, but it also hurts.
  • Commonly the most sensitive areas on a guy's cock are the rim of the cock head, the tip, the top side of the cockhead, and at times the bottom side of the shaft.
TIPS:
  • A good way to stimulate the rim of the cockhead is to form a tight ring around the cock with your lips, and to repeatedly let the rim of the cockhead force it's way through that ring as you suck him.
  • To stimulate the top side of the cockhead during a blowjob, swirl your tongue around it on each top stroke. (Try occasionally turning your head clockwise and counterclockwise as you bob up and down while sucking him.)
  • To stimulate the bottom side of the shaft, extend your tongue inside your mouth as much as you can without breaking the tight seal, and then firmly press your tongue against the shaft as you bob up and down sucking him.
  • You should also use your hands during a blowjob. Some guys have problems staying really erect during a blowjob. It helps in this case to grip his cock firmly with one hand, make a ring around it with your index finger and thumb and place your hand at the base of his cock squeezing the base of the shaft, this usually makes his cock a little harder. Some guys get harder if you use a couple of fingers to press against the hard area just below his balls.
  • You can stimulate the whole shaft by stroking it with your hand in rhythm with your sucking. A fun part of a blowjob can be playing with his balls. Be gentle though.
  • Deep throating is something that feels really good for your partner, but can be quite a chore for you. The trick to getting that cock down your throat (down your esophagus, not down your trachea) is to keep pushing your head forward, and opening your mouth and sliding your tongue out as much as you can. Do not try to suck him while deep throating, it's impossible.
  • Another very helpful tip is - if you're going to do this, be sure you do it on an EMPTY stomach. It has happened that deep throating triggers the gag reflex, and suddenly you may find yourself with a portion of your lunch or dinner in your mouth as you're giving someone a blowjob. This is not a very pleasant experience.
  • Also, don't always expect your partner to cum from receiving a blowjob. Sometimes this rarely happens. Blowjobs feel really good, but getting off on them can sometimes be rare.
Here are several psychological factors that may come into play here:
  • degree of arousal,
  • environment,
  • performance
  • anxiety,
  • nervousness, circumstance and so on.
  • A guy's inability to orgasm from your blow-job is not necessarily a direct reflection of your cock sucking abilities.If your situation allows it, and you think your ego can handle it, try asking your partner for completely honest feedback on this one. If you're determined to get him off, but it just doesn't seem to be happening, and your jaw feels like it's going to fall off - THEN TAKE A BREAK!
  • If your partner is going to cum during a blowjob, it's up to you to decide whether to swallow his load or not. Suffice it to say that it's up to you to assess the risk of any given situation.
    • One thing should be noted, the taste of your partner's cum will vary, depending on what he's had to eat, and drink earlier.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

6 Sex Mistakes Men Make

Sex Mistake No.1: You Know What She Wants

Men often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they've done with other women. But women aren't all the same.

"You develop a repertoire as you mature sexually, but you should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person," Taormino says.

That applies not only to sexual predilections, but also to relationships, she says. "There are women who can have no-strings-attached sex, and women who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between."

Sex Mistake No. 2: You Have All She Needs

Some women can't have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. But men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator.

"If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she's not broken," Taormino says.

Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together. "While you're doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else," Taormino says.


Sex Mistake No. 3: Sex Feels the Same for Men and Women

Paget says there tends to be a "huge disconnect" between men and women in the ways that sex feels good.

"When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her," Paget says. "It couldn't be further from the truth."

The inside of the vagina is probably less sensitive than the outer parts for most women. Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end. If the penis is too long, "it feels like you're getting punched in the stomach," Paget says. "It makes you feel nauseous."

Sex Mistake No. 4: You Know Your Way Around a Woman's Anatomy

Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it. That's not to say that they really understand it.

Men also lack information about how to touch it and how sensitive it is, Taormino says.

A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special, or may even be painful for someone else. Some prefer indirect stimulation.

How can you find out how she likes to be touched? Try asking her.

Sex Mistake No. 5: Wet = Turned On

Guys sometimes get hung up if a woman doesn't get slippery enough for easy penetration. Don't worry about it.

"I think there's a myth that if you're turned on, you're wet," Taormino says. Not necessarily.

Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. It varies by the phase of her menstrual cycle, and it's subject to influences like stress and medications.


Sex Mistake No. 6: Silence Is Golden

A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex, but unless you speak up, your partner has to guess what's doing it for you and what isn't.

If you're respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some directions.

"I'm not saying push her head in your lap," Taormino says. "I think that, 'this is how I like it,' is a very useful conversation to have."

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Non penetrative Sex

Non-penetrative sex or frottage—the general term for rubbing one's genitals on one's partner. This may include the partner's genitals or buttocks.

* Mutual Masturbation The stimulation of the penis in males and with the stimulation of the clitoris in females. Partners simultaneously stimulating both the male's penis and female's clitoris by mutual or simultaneous masturbation, rhythmic inter-genital contact friction or actual penetrative intercourse can lead to orgasm in one or both partners, sometimes simultaneously, known as simultaneous orgasm. Same gender partners can also stimulate each other's orgasm.

* Orgasm control by self or by a partner managing the physical stimulation and sensation connected with the emotional and physiologic excitement levels. Through the practice of masturbation an individual can learn to develop control of their own body's orgasmic response and timing. In partnered stimulation either partner can control their own orgasmic response and timing. With mutual agreement either partner can similarly learn to control or enhance their partners orgasmic response and timing. Partner stimulation orgasm techniques referred to as Expanded Orgasm, Extended orgasm or Orgasm control can be learned and practiced for either partner to refine their control of the orgasmic response of the other. Partners mutually choose which is in control or in response to the other.

* Orgasmic Meditation, is a mindfulness practice where the object of meditation is conscious finger to genital contact. "OMing" is practiced in pairs, with one partner, gently holding the genitals with both hands, and that partner's index finger gently, precisely, slowly stroking the female’s clitoris specifically and with both parties placing their complete awareness mindfully on that localized point of contact between them. Both practitioners focus their fullest attention on their sensitive nerve endings and on their finest muscle control in stroking movement to develop connective (limbic) resonance between practitioners. The outcome, is not simply orgasm but interpersonal connection.

Other forms of frottage—as part of foreplay or to avoid penetrative sex, people engage in a variety of other non-penetrative sexual behaviour, which may or may not lead to orgasm.

* Dry humping: frottage while clothed. This act is common, although not essential, in the dance style known as "grinding".

* Handjob: Manual stimulation of a partner's penis or clitoris

* Footjob: using the feet to stimulate the penis.

* Mammary intercourse: using the breasts together to stimulate the penis through the cleavage. (Should not be confused with a "boob job" meaning to have augmentive surgery done on the breasts.) Also called a titjob, titty-fucking, a tit-wank, or a muscle fuck. Several other slang terms exist.

* Intercrural intercourse or interfemoral sex: with the penis between the partner's thighs, perhaps rubbing the vulva, scrotum or perineum.

* Axillary intercourse: with the penis in the armpit.

The slang term humping may refer to masturbation—thrusting one's genitals against the surface of non-sexual objects, clothed or unclothed; or it may refer to penetrative sex.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Get in the mood and turn up the heat


An aphrodisiac is a substance which is used in the belief that it increases sexual desire. The name comes from Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of sensuality. Throughout history, many foods, drinks, and behaviors have had a reputation for making sex more attainable and/or pleasurable.

According to folklore, natural aphrodisiacs may help to raise libido and increase desire. They're being used by an increasing number of people to give their sex lives a boost. But some of them may cause side effects or interact with medications and others haven't been proven. Here are the facts about 10 popular aphrodisiac herbs and supplements.

1) Ginseng

Ginseng is one of the bestselling herbs in the United States. In much of Asia, ginseng is prized as a revitalizer for the whole body, partly due to the human-like shape of the root.

2) Horny Goat Weed

According to folklore, horny goat weed's reputed aphrodisiac qualities were discovered when a Chinese goat herder noticed increased sexual activity in his flock[ after they ingested the weed.

3) Fo-Ti

Fo-ti is also called he shou wu, which means "black-haired Mr. He" in Chinese. This name refers to a legend of an older villager named Mr. He who took fo-ti and restored his black hair, youthful appearance and sexual vitality.

4) L-Arginine

L-arginine is not a herb but an amino acid that has numerous functions in the body. It has been used for erectile dysfunction and is often promoted as a Viagra alternative.

5) Damiana

Damiana is a plant native to Mexico and the southern United States. It has been widely used as an aphrodisiac in Mexico for men and women.

6) Tribulus Terrestris

Tribulus terrestris is a herb that has been used in the traditional medicine of China and India for centuries. It was only in the mid-90s when Eastern European Olympic athletes claimed that tribulus contributed to their success that tribulus became known in the North America.

7) Tongkat Ali

Tongkat Ali is a tree native to Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia. It was dubbed the "Asian Viagra" in a May 1999 report in the New Sunday Times.

8) Maca

According to folklore, ancient Incan warriors took maca before going off to battle to make them physically strong. However, they were later prohibited from taking it, in order to protect conquered women from their heightened libidos.

9) Muira Puama

Muira puama, also called "potency wood" is a small Brazilian tree that grows across the Amazon river basin. It has a long history of use in Brazilian folk medicine as an aphrodisiac.

10) Yohimbe

Yohimbe is an evergreen tree that grows in western Africa in Nigeria, Cameroon, the Congo and Gabon. Yohimbe bark extracts are widely promoted online and in health food stores as a natural aphrodisiac to increase libido and treat erectile dysfunction.

Sex without Intercourse

When most people talk about “sex” they mean intercourse. We’re raised to understand that “real sex” is all about penile-vaginal intercourse.

There is no doubt that sexual intercourse is a staple in a majority of people’s sexual diets. Because most of us are raised to think that having intercourse is having sex, we build up huge anticipation about intercourse and prioritize it, whether we like it or not. One result of this is widespread sexual dissatisfaction for long term relationships and marriages.

Getting Beyond Intercourse

Still, it’s hard for people to get around this. Most of us don’t really challenge our status quo definition of sex until we have to. There are many times in our lives where intercourse stops “working” for us, and we might be forced to broaden our sexual horizons:

  • When two people have been in a long relationship and sex seems “boring”
  • If you or your partner are undergoing, preparing for, or recovering from medical treatment or procedures.
  • If you or your partner are dealing with depression, anxiety, or other acute mental health issues.
  • If you or your partner are living with chronic or temporary pain.

These are only a few examples of ordinary events and changes that happen in most of our lives that can impact the way we can, or want to, have intercourse. Whether you are currently living with one of these experiences, or if you’re just interested in getting more creative with your sex life, here are some ideas of how to explore sexual behavior and intimacy with your partner without having intercourse.

Sexual Touch

We tend to associate sexual touching with a sort of immature sexuality. Most of our earliest sexual experiences involve touching, often fumbling at first, trying to discover what our partners body feels like, what makes it excited, what it shrinks away from. This experimentation is often done in the dark, or in a hurry, and we don’t always get the chance to slowly and thoughtfully explore every inch of our partner’s body.

Having sex through touch can be an unbelievably intimate and powerful experience, as touch can convey so much: our love, our lust, our desire, our interest in knowing more, and experiencing more from our partner.

How to increase intimacy with sexual touch

Non-Verbal & Non Touching Intimate Sexual Connections

We communicate non verbally, and share energy with people around us all the time. When you’re around someone who is angry or anxious, you may pick up on that energy. When someone is gazing into your eyes with a look of desire, you may feel a tingle in your body, the thrill of being lusted after.

This sort of energy exchange occurs when we’re having sex too. Usually we don’t talk about it, and it just happens. It happens without our intent, but it comes out of the intensity of the sexual energy that is flowing inside of us.

Tapping into this energy, and using it intentionally, can offer sexual intimacy on a level that you have never experienced. All of this, from not having intercourse!

Exploring Spiritual Sex

Sexual Intimacy Through Talking

Classically, “dirty talk” is seen as a raunchy element of sex. It’s something you do to get your partner going, or it’s something you do while having sex. We all have an idea of what it is, but most of us are also nervous about doing it, and unsure about how it works, or how to do it well.

But there are far more ways to enjoy deep sexual intimacy and pleasure through language. Keeping your sex life hot is in part about learning how to take your partner to the point of extreme sexual intensity and not pushing them over the top, but letting them float there. From sharing sexy talk with your partner, to reading erotic stories to each other, to phone sex, to cyber sex, using your mind, and your mouth to draw your partner in and make a connection, can be a heady experience.

source: about.com